A Mom Wrote An Amazing Letter To The Man Who Sat With Her 3-Year-Old Autistic Daughter On An Airplane

Shanell Mouland wasn’t expecting much when an older businessman sat next to her daughter on a flight back from Disney, but it turns out he knew just what to do.

Shanell Mouland and her husband Al have a 3-year-old daughter named Kate who has autism. They blog about their experiences raising her over at goteamkate.com and recently they published an open letter that went massively viral.

The Moulands had just wrapped up a family vacation to Disney World, a place Shanell described as overwhelming for anyone, but especially so for a child with autism. On the flight back, there was an open seat next to Kate.

“I sat and watched people come on the plane and made quick judgments about who might sit beside her,” Shanell told. “Then I saw a businessman and I thought, No, that’s not who I want to sit down.”

Shanell details her relief and surprise about what happened next in her very cute “Dear ‘Daddy’ in Seat 16C Flight 1850 From Philly”:

Dear 'Daddy', 

I don't know your name but Kate called you 'daddy' for the entire flight last week and you kindly never corrected her.  In fact, you didn't even flinch as you could probably tell that she was not confusing you with her own 'daddy' but instead making a judgment regarding your level of 'safety' for her.  If she calls you 'daddy' then you better believe she thinks you are alright.  

I sat Kate in the middle seat knowing full well that there would be a stranger sitting next to her for the duration of this flight.  I had to make a quick decision and based on her obsession with opening and closing the window shade I figured she might be less of a distraction if she sat in the middle.  I watched the entire Temple basketball team board the plane and wondered if one of these giants might sit by Kate.  They all moved toward the back. She would have liked that, she would have made some observations that I would have had to deal with but she would have liked those players.  I watched many Grandmotherly women board and hoped for one to take the seat but they walked on by.  For a fleeting moment I thought we might have a free seat beside us and then you walked up and sat down with your briefcase and your important documents and I had a vision of Kate pouring her water all over your multi-million dollar contracts, or house deeds, or whatever it was you held.  The moment you sat down, Kate started to rub your arm.  Your jacket was soft and she liked the feel of it.  You smiled at her and she said:  "Hi, Daddy, that's my mom."  Then she had you.

You could have shifted uncomfortably in your seat.  You could have ignored her.  You could have given me that 'smile' that I despise because it means; 'manage your child please.'  You did none of that.  You engaged Kate in conversation and you asked her questions about her turtles.  She could never really answer your questions but she was so enamored by you that she keep eye contact and joint attention on the items you were asking her about.  I watched and smiled.  I made a few polite offers to distract her, but you would have none of it.  

Kate:  (Upon noticing you had an IPad)  Is dis Daddy's puduter? 

You:  This is my IPad.  Would you like to see it?

Kate:  To me??????  (I know she thought you were offering it to her to keep)

Me:  Look with your eyes, Kate.  That is not yours.

Kate: Dat's nice!

You: (Upon noticing that Kate had an IPad)  I like your computer, too.  It has a nice purple case.  

Kate: Daddy wanna be a bad guy? (She offered shredder to you and that, my friend, is high praise)

You:  Cool.  

The interaction went on and on and you never once seemed annoyed.  She gave you some moments of peace while she played with her Anna and Elsa dolls.  Kind of her to save you from playing barbies, but I bet you wouldn't have minded a bit.  I bet you have little girls, too.  

Not long before we landed Kate had reached her limit.  She screamed to have her seatbelt off, she screamed for me to open the plane door and she cried repeating, "Plane is cwosed (closed)" over and over.  You tried to redirect her attention to her toys.  She was already too far gone at this point, but the fact that you tried to help your new little friend made me emotional.  

In case, you are wondering.  She was fine the moment we stepped off the plane.  Thank you for letting us go ahead of you.  She was feeling overwhelmed and escaping the plane and a big, long hug was all she needed.  

So, thank you.  Thank you for not making me repeat those awful apologetic sentences that I so often say in public.  Thank you for entertaining Kate so much that she had her most successful plane ride, yet.  And, thank you for putting your papers away and playing turtles with our girl.

 But the businessman did see it and actually contacted Shanell. She said he was very modest and didn’t want any recognition, but just thanked her for the very kind letter.

 Shanell said that the outpouring of responses from parents of children who don’t have autism are the most special, because those are the ones she wants to reach most.

 As for anyone else who might end up meeting Kate, Shanell’s biggest hope for her letter is to know that Kate may have autism, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t a way to engage with her.

 Shanell told :

If you engage us, just like you would any other parent. If Kate’s talking to you because she thinks you’re cool or she likes your sneakers, she touches them, she likes them, thinks they’re cool. I mean, she’s a funny nice kid. She’ll give you a hug and just say ‘Hey, how you doing Kate?’ She doesn’t really know what you’re saying, she’ll get confused and maybe talk about Ninja Turtles because that’s her thing, but just go with it. I wish people would just be more free with it.