6 Signs You're an Emotional Eater

You crave the same foods at specific times

Does wanting for sweets after meals, cookies at 3 p.m., or chips when you sit by the TV sound like your MO? Next time you find yourself rushing to the vending machine mid-afternoon, put that dollar back in your wallet and ask yourself why you’re there. “Whether it’s your snack-time sweet tooth or a 9 p.m. desire to eat anything, figuring out what your body is asking for—whether that’s energy, a means to de-stress, or a way to end boredom—is key to squashing the habit,” says Nadya Andreeva, author of Happy Belly. “Once you know what you’re truly craving, replace eating with a new habit to satisfy that need.” Take an energizing 10-minute walk near your office, write in a journal to unwind, or call or email a friend to end boredom. “Once you meet that need without food, cravings naturally subside,” she says.

You overeat when you’re happy or joyful

Consider what you consume at a party, at dinner with your girlfriends, or on vacation with your husband happy calories. “People tend to eat more as a way of making a fun time even better, or in an attempt to not ruin a good time by restricting food choices,” says Jason Lillis, Ph.D., author of The Diet Trap. It doesn’t help that women subconsciously mimic their dining partner’s eating pace and consume more calories when they eat with friends, according to a study published in Plos One. In fun-filled situations, mindfulness is key to preventing subconscious calorie-loading. “The goal isn’t to be perfect every single time, but to consciously make a choice, as opposed to automatically eating without even realizing it,” Lillis says. Then make the focus of your night connecting with the people you love—not food.

You fail the “apple test”

Next time you think you’re hungry, ask yourself if an apple would suffice. If yes, then you should eat—it indicates you’re actually hungry. If you answer no—what you really want is a cookie or chips—you’re eating for emotional reasons. Come up with a list of 10-minute distractions—things that you can do instead of eating, like read a magazine article, play with your dog, or take a shower, says Ramani Durvasula, M.D., author of You Are Why You Eat. Write them on slips of paper and put them in a jar. Next time you fail the apple test, pull one out and follow the instructions. “By the time the activity is up, you’ll likely find that your food mood has passed,” Durvasula says.

Your willpower crumbles as the day goes on

“Afternoon binges are usually a response to stress that’s built up throughout the day,” says Yoni Freehoff, M.D., author of The Diet Fix. But reaching for high-carb foods—whether that’s chips or something sweet—actually adds stress, since our bodies react with a surge of insulin to control sugar spikes. To prevent afternoon snack attacks and keep your stress level at an even keel, Freehoff suggests aiming for three balanced meals and two snacks each day. Meals should have a minimum of 300 calories and 15 grams of protein (try 2 scrambled eggs with a slice of whole-grain toast for breakfast and a salad with grilled chicken and quinoa for lunch), and snacks around 150 calories and 10 grams of protein (Greek yogurt, edamame, or an apple with 2 Tbsp peanut butter are good options). To keep hunger pangs and afternoon splurges at bay, don’t go more than three hours without eating.

You feel guilty after you eat something you “shouldn’t”

“Food is one of our most emotionally-charged relationships,” says Staness Jonekos, author ofEat Like a Woman. “Emotional eaters get immediate gratification from comfort eating, but then feel like failures because they lost control.” The key to ending the cycle of guilt is to give up the idea of “bad” and “good” foods based on calories, carbs, or whatever your hang-up, and instead look at food as what it truly is: a source of nutrition and energy. Think about what makes you feel good—maybe it’s a bowl of oatmeal with cinnamon, a fruit and nut bar, or an omelet—and make sure you keep those foods available. “Before you rip open a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies, think about how you’ll feel after eating them—chances are that alone will steer you toward more nutritious foods,” says Jonekos.

You shovel food in your mouth

Instead of hunger that comes on gradually, your desire to eat is so overwhelming that you often down a meal as if you’re participating in a hot-dog-eating contest. “To end fast, furious eating, you first need to observe the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger,” says Dilia Suriel, author of The Thin Woman’s Brian. True hunger builds gradually and is often accompanied by stomach pangs or growling, irritability, headaches, and low energy. “Simply recognizing that your desire to eat is not physical can end the autopilot reaction of downing food fast,” Suriel says. If that doesn’t work, slow, deep breaths can short-circuit the knee-jerk reaction to pour a bag of chips into your mouth. Breathe in and out through your nose, inhaling for five full seconds and releasing for five seconds more, then repeat 10 times. Not only will deep breaths stall you from reaching for food, they’ll also balance brain chemicals so your food choices come from a more rational place.